Category Archives: Rants

2020 Year In Review “Count your blessings not your problems”

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2020 worst year ever

2020.

I’m sure we all felt it would be a golden year. A year for achieving goals, and going after whatever it is that we want..
Instead 2020 has humbled us and changed us in more ways than one. It will indeed be a year that many of us will never forget.

2020

Kobe Bryant’s sudden death in a helicopter crash in January, along with the deaths of his 13 year old daughter and everyone else on board, set the shocking and somber tone of tragedy and despair for the year to come.

So much has happened since then, with the surge of Covid, the mysterious, contagious respiratory illness sweeping in and claiming the lives of more than 200,000 Americans, and millions more around the Globe;

2020

Along with an explosion of civil unrest throughout the nation brought on by unjust killings of unarmed persons of color, ie. George FLoyd, and Breonna Taylor, who was shot and killed by police in her own home, and countless others who were slain without receiving justice: sparked thick tension, marches, riots, protests and violence, not only in the US, but all around the world.

2020

Our sense of normality is gone. People are ordered to stay home, social distance, quarantine, wear masks, and look at the media, which seems to be all we are allowed to do. A media whose only goal is for you to see what only the Elites of our world would like you to see.

2020

Capitalizing on the effects and death rates of Covid, spreading fear, panic and hopelessness throughout the nation and around the World . All for what. A plan? An Agenda? A master reset?

I sincerely hope whatever plans they had hoped to accomplish fails.

And while we all had plans of some sort, 2020 was the year that showed us that: we may plan, but God decides.

It has been a historical year indeed with the biggest and most controversial election to date. A country divided right down the middle between Black and White, & Blue and Red. -And while the tragedy, and the animosity of this year has been magnified like bacteria under a microscope. 2020 has brought many things into perspective for most people.

2020 election

It has stripped many of us, from homes, jobs, people, loved ones, normality, and at times even our own sanity. Like a harsh slap in the face, this year has brought to our attention, many of the things that are most important in life like; God, our faith, ourselves, and the people we love.

It has also been a constant and consistent reminder that although the life we live is short, God is always in control.

Treat yourself good, live in the moment, value the time you have with the ones you love and drop the ones that don’t.

Whatever you are going to do, do it. Don’t wait, stop living in fear, live life with no regrets, tell people you love them, and be thankful for everything you have. 2020 has been rough for all of us but I dare you to focus on the good. (Try this Exercise: make a collage or a board with the good things or the blessings you have received this year, use pictures, use words, but gather them up and see just how good God has been, and don’t forget the fact that you are able to read this is a blessing too!)

Go forward in God, peace, love, and victory! Love and light – Marleana B.

Enjoyed this post check out my previous post 7 Signs You May Be Experiencing Spiritual Warfare Here

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Thanksgiving Day Funk

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We all know everyday is a day is a day to be thankful, but ESPECIALLY on holidays like Thanksgiving. It’s a designated time of year, for family, good food, laughter, and cheer, but unbeknownst to some the holiday season can be one of the lonliest times of the year. 

2020 has been something of a disaster for most, everyone has been affected by COVID 19, in some way shape or form, whether it’s been the lost of a family member, friend, job, certain freedoms, or faith in a brighter future.

The tragedy is there. The sadness is there, the depression, and the stress is there, and it’s not just going to go away because of our regularly scheduled holiday programming.

For many, the holidays are a great time for families to travel, gather, and reunite, but there are some of us, who simply just can’t relate, and instead it becomes a large mirror forcing you to reflect on what you don’t or didn’t have.

Growing up, even before my mother passed, we didn’t celebrate holidays or have large gatherings. Everyday was the same, there was no holiday spirit or Christmas cheer,  it just wasn’t in our system of beliefs; but there was church, it seems like there was always time for that…

It’s no wonder that after she died, what was “left” of the family fell apart.

 I don’t blame my brother and sister who were young adults at the time of her passing, so many years living under strict rule, going to a place of worship your mom devoted her time and life to, but yet it didn’t save hers.

My mother passed a month after I turned 11. I have no idea what the last words I ever said to her, I don’t think at the time I realized that she wouldn’t be coming back. Things were very lonely after that.

There was no one there to build or lift me up, or teach me how to be a respectable lady, and warn me not to rush. I mean there again was always church, which seemed a blessing and a curse. Now there was no mom, no sister, no brother, but there was dad who had to sit all the way on the other side of the church

At a young age it taught me that in short amounts of time anything could change, and that sitting down, and being quiet was possibly the best or only thing I could do in life.

I guess that’s why I was in such a rush to grow up. I wanted love and affection from someone else. 

I did not love myself and because of it, it vastly changed the direction of my life. With someone, just  to be with them, no matter the outcome or cost, and it certainly did cost me lot, my livelihood, my mental, emotional health, the list goes on… it’s  a price I’m still paying, a deep wound that’s still healing, a massive dark  hole that I am still digging, and climbing out.

On some days it’s easier, on days like thanksgiving, birthdays, and Christmas it’s not. While everyone is coming together to take part in the holiday cheer, laugh, eat, and smile, it’s a reminder of what I failed to produce, and the cozy childhood I never got.

But I am grateful, and thankful, nonetheless. 

It reminds me to cherish the moments with the little ones who are dear to my heart. If you’re feeling down in the dumps this holiday, just know you aren’t alone. Everyone is going through something. This year, has been a year like no other. Remember to be gentle with yourself.

PROVERBS 10:22: “The Blessings of the Lord maketh rich and addeth no sorrow with it.”

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STRUGGLES OF A SOCIALLY AWKWARD INTROVERT.

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JUNE 9, 2017MARLEANA BRYANT4 COMMENTSEDIT

Being a social introvert does have some perks to it. Sure, having alone time is great, and not being pressured to attend excessively, loud and crowded gatherings and events is a plus as well… But when you stop and realize that you’ve only acquainted approximately 3 and a half people out of nearly 7.5 billion, and even then,you only speak to one of the three on occasion; you might say to yourself:

Oh my God I think it’s time for me to make some new friends.

I have recently had this epiphany. As a social introvert myself, social scenes can be an absolute nightmare.

So many people, each with their own personality, thoughts, and opinions. Who wants to deal with them all? What should I say, how should I act, what if no one likes me, are very real fears of a social introvert.

I have never been a cool kid; growing up I was the exact opposite. I could never fit in.

I wore weird clothes, matched with awkwardly colored shaped hats, listened to strange music, read lots of books, and kept to myself. I guess my weird appearance gave me an excuse to be a loner, and in turn made me into the social introvert that I am today.

Usually I dread even the simplest of everyday social activities such as going to the market or taking my kids to the park.  Even crossing the threshold of my own door can sometimes cause an irrational anxiety and fear to bubble up inside me.

Oh, and dear God, don’t let the door bell ring. I can’t imagine what foul and repulsive soul would have the audacity to appear outside my home and summon me from my reclusive activities. I was just fine in my own world, quite possibly on a planet in a whole different galaxy.

Yes I would love to imagine that I’ve made great strides with my anxiety, since my awkward adolescent years, but I’ve realized I’ve only managed to subtly subdue my social fears at most, for certain social events when needed.

I have often wondered, if I will ever over come my social anxiety. I mean sure this must be unnatural, and unhealthy for the average human being but social anxiety is an issue that we really  don’t see.

With our TVs, laptops, smart phones and other handheld devices encouraging more and more screen time and less interaction; social introverts are definitely on the rise. And while this may not necessarily be a deplorable case  in my eyes, or the minds of fellow introverts; it does leave one to ponder what a futuristic society would be like if we had all morphed into antisocial introverts.

dailysun_smartphones

What are your thoughts on technology and the rise of social introverts. Do you believe this to be true? Are you perhaps an introvert too?

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DOMESTIC ABUSE: The Painful Truth About Domestic Abuse, and Violence. (2019)

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Domestic abuse Exposed
Disclaimer: This image is not meant to portray any persons accused of Domestic Abuse

“The true character of a man is not defined by what he does in front of a crowd, but instead by what he does when no one else is around.”

-Unknown.

The shocking truth is 1 in 4 women will experience some form of domestic abuse or domestic violence in their life time, with most domestic occurrences happening to women between the ages of 18-34.

Although there are an estimated 12 million cases of domestic abuse a year, less than half are actually reported to authorities.

It’s extremely important that women (or men) who may be subject to this kind of abuse alert someone about their situation, even if it’s a family member, friend, police or agency, someone should know.

You should never feel alone, trapped or helpless when facing domestic abuse, most partners who are abusive tend to escalate, or continue abuse because they feel that their victim is estranged from friends and family

If you or someone you know may be suffering from abuse make a police report, or contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline. at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

A Man Who is Not A Man; A Short Verse

I know a man who is not a man, but a liar who never keeps his word.

Whose mouth proclaims his love, and threatens my life like a two edged sword.

I know a man who is not a man, who’d rather make excuses than to try.

I know a man who is not a man who believes all his twisted lies.

I know a man who is not a man who’d take my last without batting an eye,

He believes raising hands to me can be justified.

I know a man who is not a man who has no self control, no morals or, no goals.

Someone who believes he’s entitled because he exists,

he believes he can solve his problems by how well he can use his fists.

The problem with this man is that he is not a man at all.

 So I know a man who is not a man, he’s actually is just a boy.

I wrote this verse a little over a month ago, BEFORE deciding that maybe posting a verse revealing the true nature of my children’s father would be a little bit harsh. You are reading this because he changed my mind.

In the past week alone he has shown up outside my door and at our neighborhood park shouting and threatening to shoot me and kill me in front of our children for not answering the phone when he called.

I do not understand how a man can behave this way toward a woman that has mothered his children. This instance is just one of several other traumatizing incidents I have endured with this man, varying in degrees of, stress, trauma, and severity.

As someone who has experienced domestic violence and abuse, it’s very easy to allow feelings of dread, depression, hopelessness and fear to sink in, but I encourage you to use your voice and tell someone, remove yourself from the situation if you can. Seek help from family, and professionally if you need to.

You are important. You deserve to feel safe, no one on this Earth deserves to harm you in anyway. Reach out there are many people who would be willing to help.

Are you a survivor or know someone who is a survivor of domestic abuse. What are your thoughts on the issue? What did you do, what actions are you taking to protect yourself?

Disclaimer: the photo above is not meant to portray an individual/s accused of or associated with Domestic abuse or violence.

Don’t forget to Follow me on Instagram @real.queens.killing.it for encouragement and inspiration

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