STRUGGLES OF A SOCIALLY AWKWARD INTROVERT.

JUNE 9, 2017 MARLEANA BRYANT 4 COMMENTS EDIT

Being a social introvert does have some perks to it. Sure, having alone time is great, and not being pressured to attend excessively, loud and crowded gatherings and events is a plus as well… But when you stop and realize that you’ve only acquainted approximately 3 and a half people out of nearly 7.5 billion, and even then,you only speak to one of the three on occasion; you might say to yourself:

Oh my God I think it’s time for me to make some new friends.

I have recently had this epiphany. As a social introvert myself, social scenes can be an absolute nightmare.

So many people, each with their own personality, thoughts, and opinions. Who wants to deal with them all? What should I say, how should I act, what if no one likes me, are very real fears of a social introvert.

I have never been a cool kid; growing up I was the exact opposite. I could never fit in.

I wore weird clothes, matched with awkwardly colored shaped hats, listened to strange music, read lots of books, and kept to myself. I guess my weird appearance gave me an excuse to be a loner, and in turn made me into the social introvert that I am today.

Usually I dread even the simplest of everyday social activities such as going to the market or taking my kids to the park. Even crossing the threshold of my own door can sometimes cause an irrational anxiety and fear to bubble up inside me.

Oh, and dear God, don’t let the door bell ring. I can’t imagine what foul and repulsive soul would have the audacity to appear outside my home and summon me from my reclusive activities. I was just fine in my own world, quite possibly on a planet in a whole different galaxy.

Yes I would love to imagine that I’ve made great strides with my anxiety, since my awkward adolescent years, but I’ve realized I’ve only managed to subtly subdue my social fears at most, for certain social events when needed.

I have often wondered, if I will ever over come my social anxiety. I mean sure this must be unnatural, and unhealthy for the average human being but social anxiety is an issue that we really don’t see.

With our TVs, laptops, smart phones and other handheld devices encouraging more and more screen time and less interaction; social introverts are definitely on the rise. And while this may not necessarily be a deplorable case in my eyes, or the minds of fellow introverts; it does leave one to ponder what a futuristic society would be like if we had all morphed into antisocial introverts.